Thursday, September 27, 2007

I Had Something To Say But Now I Forget What It Was

Oh right. Now I remember. How could I forget? It was yesterday, but still . . .


Some might say I'm cruel to mention both her age and the fact that she is older, but what else are little sisters for? Really though, as we both creep up in age, the four year gap doesn't seem nearly as big as it was when I was say, 11 and Sahra was 15. Oh boy, those were interesting times. least I think they were. I find my childhood memories very fuzzy, for no particular reason. At least Sahra has a definitive reason for her lack of early memories (i.e. skull fracture at 17 from horse accident)

Anyways, as each year passes I become more grateful that I do have a sibling and a kind, intelligent, highly sarcastic, interesting one at that. Yay to sisters!

So, in other news, I went to Scottish Dance class last night. I'd been before, just after returning from my stint in Scotland, but had to drop them after a few weeks due to other obligations. It was great fun and I was glad to have company this time from Ms. Keri. I really think, in terms of uplifting, energizing things one can do for oneself, dancing ranks right up there with eating chocolate, savoring a glass of wine and watching the sunset with someone you love. There's just something about moving to music.

Tonight I am heading over to the Student Centre to join in celebrations for Co-op Education's 10 Year Anniversary - looking forward to seeing some familiar faces and enjoying the platters of free food. I can't help but be enticed by free food, especially this week because my budget is going to be blown after I get a haircut/highlights this evening and there are still two days to get through without cash.

I have other things to report, but must get back to work as lunch is over.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

It Seems Logical To Me

A few days ago I read something that I intuitively knew to be true, but which came as quite a revealation considering how often people deny it. What I read is this:

Every single decision we make (or don't make) is emotion-drive. Not 50% or 90%, but 100% of the choices we make are directed by one of two emotions: fear or desire. And most of the time, most people let their fear direct their choices.

Wow. OK, maybe this seems elementary to some and unthinkable to others.

For me, it seems like such an obvious truth, but this is because I don't do well at containing my desires and will generally follow them to the ends of the Earth.

I had become convinced by others there is an alternative to letting emotions drive your decisions and it is called logic. This seemed to make sense at a theoretical level, but never having found myself able to completely avoid the paramount importance of m heart in making decisions, I figured I was just some sort of anomaly that lacked 'Logcal Decision-Making' DNA.

But maybe I'm not DNA devoid. Maybe logic is really just a validation for fear-based decisions. I mean, let's face it, no one wants to admit they are afraid to take a chance, to make a leap that could lead to failure, to leave their comfort zone. Admitting to fear is something we are supposed to be ashamed of. It apparently shows weakness of character. And so, when we're afraid to do something, say something, be someone, we disguise our decisions to 'stay the course' as being those of logic without consultation of the heart. Really, though, they are decisions made in denial of desires and compliance with fear. Most of the time it's not even a conscious thing - most of the time the fear is so numbing that we don't even realise that it is, indeed, the emotion that is the basis of our choice.

I don't know if the above is a logical deduction of what logic is, but it kind of makes sense to me!

In other news, there are no people left on the Island. Labour Day has come and gone and with it went all the fanny packs and license plates 'from away'. The Farmer's Market is no longer open on Wednesdays and there are 'Sale' signs at all the souvenir shops. Anne & Gilbert are in love and off on their honeymoon. The fall leaves are starting to carpet the ground and sweaters are now the wooly kind and not the drenched co-workers whose offices had no A/C.

I am following a budget these days and it's going remarkably well. It turns out I don't spend much money on entertainment or other things, just on food. I can't help it - eating healthy is an investment that I am willing to make. I carry over the cash I don't spend from each week, so it's cumulative. At the end of a four week period, I'll put aside what I've not spent and either invest it or eventually treat myself to an extravagence. Whatever I save in September will be going towards my five day trip to Toronto in October. So that begs the question - do I get highlights with my haircut or save the money so I can have a fine dining experience in the big city sans nicely coiffed and colourful hair? And, for the record, coiffed is, indeed, a word that is in the dictionary.

Saturday, September 15, 2007

The era of procrastination, of half-measures, of soothing and baffling expedients, of delays, is coming to a close. In its place we are entering a period of consequence - Winston Churchill

Destiny may lead you to the path, but it's up to you to do the rest.

Sunday, September 09, 2007

Fantastic Plastic Flowers

I'm starting to think I prefer the lifestyle that can be maintained via a non-conventional employment arrangement which would involve me waking up when I want to, going outside to muck out the horse stables or milk the cows or whatever for a few hours, then spending the rest of the day as I wish. No cheque, but three yummy meals prepared for me and a bed to sleep in. Yes, I think I am having Help Exchange withdrawal symptoms. I truly miss having free time each and every day to simply think about life, enjoy the scenery and engage in interesting conversations with people who are actively living, rather than just going through the grind.

I daresay getting through the first week of 'Back to School' might have something to do with my nostalgia. Not that I mind being super busy at work, but add to that my exercising plan, cooking every meal, having a social life and trying to juggle othter commitments, and you've got yourself one very wiped out Shanadian.

And this was only a four-day work week!

Anyways, life continues and I haven't have time to start plotting my next move. but I will have to v. soon if I intend to apply for any scholarships on the chance that I apply to do my Masters degree.

I haven't had any time to think about my Escape to Toronto in October. That's a lie. I did do a quick google search to determine what candy stores I will have to check out (you know, in case I decide to open a LolliShop someday, I'll have done my research..). ANd I didn't realise, but Niagra Falls is only 1.5 hours away, and Andrew seems to think it'd be a great day trip that should include a tour of the wineries in the region. WOOOHOOO!!! I can't say I've been the biggest fan of Toronto based on my previous visits, but I am sure it'll be a fab time given the company of Andrew, whose a bonafide resident, for the moment anyways! It didn't occur to me until AFTER I booked the ticket that by choosing to spend Thanksgiving in Toronto, I would be forgoing the option of spending it here with family. Booo :( WHy can't I be in two places at once?

I had a fantastic time going out on the town Friday night. Who would've thunk it- a good time im Ch'town and I wasn't even drinking. I was dancing and sweating though! Originally Jen & I were meant to go to the drive-in, but then she suggested going to Baba's Lounge to hear DJ Skratch Bastid playing. Well, I'm not a huge fan of DJs, but thought it had more 'fun' potential than the drive-in. No offence to Jen, but drive-in theatre is sooooo much more fun when you're not actually watching much of the movie and, well, that would've required different company.

This week I am going to give blood for the first time. I want to know what my blood type is and if I am iron deficient. SHould be fun, considering how much I love needles and the such.

On Wednesday I am going to a Toastmasters event with Mom, where the guest speaker is going to talk about Climate Change - he's one of only two people in Atlantic Canada that has been assigned to spread Al Gore's message. Mostly I'm just interested in maybe joining Toastmasters, but it's cool that the speaker will be talking about something that interests me and not about potato crops or car racing.

Saturday, September 01, 2007

In Labour

"So I went to a prenatal class this week."

I have to say, when I first made this remark to Jen & Joan over lunch at the Farmer's Market, I wasn't even thinking about how odd this might sound. Joan just nodded her head, waiting for me to continue, but Jen's jaw dropped and she looked extremely confused "Am I missing something?' she asked.

A legitimate question given that 1) I had not made any announcements regarding the carrying of child 2) I don't have a partner 3) I am losing weight not gaining it! On the other hand...I am living on PEI and I swear, just having that status alone could result in one acquiring 'pregnant' status.

Anyways, as it turns out I'm not pregnant and I went to the prenatal class to learn more about the programs offered by CHANCES, an early childhood educaiton/develpoment centre that is doing amazing work on the Island to provide children and new parents with the best start and support possible.

The topic of this particular class was 'Comfort Practices For Labour/Birthing'. A bit of an oxymoron in my opinion, but it was certainly an interesting and informative class. I had no idea that squatting was considered an excellent positoin for giving birth. I have to say though, I was not necessarily comforted by the class and am thankful that at this point in time I am not carrying anything aside from a bit of extra weight.

It's Labour Day weekend. Woohoo, a whole three days off!! I'm excited, becuase I have NOTHING planned for the next tow days. I think I need it. I've been run off my feetover the past month and it's done absolutely nothing for my stateof mind - I'd go so far as to say I find myself being more easily agitated than usual. And i can't think properly. Never a good sign.

Today I moved into my new place adn I reckon this will do much to calm my nerves. The roommates are much more to my liking - the level of maturity is much higher and the place,in turn, is much cleaner and quieter. I am living with Dan, Rana's future husband; Dorothe,a French girl that is here as a teaching assistanat; and Alison, who is a Nursing student.

Yesterday was my last day at my old place and I came home after work, having packed all of my stuff the day before except the food in the fridge,to discover two older women in teh kitchen dumping everything in the garbage. They'd tossed about half of my food in the garbage inclding blueberries, my homemade flaxseed muffisn (20!) and my veggie dogs. I kind of blew a gasket because they were very unapologetic suggesting I should have come earlier. Then one of them accused me of having made a mess in the kitchen and wasn't happy when I indicated it was actually a mess left from a party her daughter had two days prior. Oh dear me. I was shocked at the lack of respect she gave me, and am so glad to be out of there.

At the beginning of the week, Jimmy was supposed to come visit me at 6.000 and we were going ot see a movie and catch up since it's been over an year since we saw each oher. Wel, Jimmy never showed and, in going with teh agitation theme, I can't say I was particularly impressed when he called four hours later with the lamest excuse ever (basically, even though he didn't say it, he had had a number of drinks at a birthday funciton and forgotten about our date. SO I told him he could make it up by coming over on Wednesday. Well,didn't he show up with a bouquet of floweres and a coupon for a 30 minute massage at Radiant Reflections. Now if only every stand -up was so well compensated!!

On Thursday night I went to a potluck at Keri's place... or should I say Prof. Don Wagner's. She's got the best housesitting gig ever. No animals to look aftera nd a gorgeous house! Anywas, I made Banoffee Pie and it was sooooooo delicious, but sinfully sweet.

Amazingly, my weight is still dropping and clothes are starting to feel a lot looser...old clothes are even starting to fit again!

I'm goin to go read now. I just came back from seeing Sicko at City Cinemas. Interesting stuff - mostly entertaining I love how there's always a Canadian component in his films!