Thursday, June 15, 2006

Phew. This whole waiting for my work visa application for Australia to be approved/not approved is taking a lot out of me. I mean, seriously, my days are absolutely exhausting. It's not exactly the waiting that is an issue (although Mom & Jim might have a different opinion about that), it's the not knowing whether I will be approved that's stressing me out.

Now I know how those last two girls on the Bachelor must feel - waiting for the guy to tell them one way or the other if they are acceptable. Am I acceptable to the nation of Australia? True, I was rejected by Britain, but hell, we all know the Brits are stuffy and unreasonable! Perhaps I'm more agreeable with the Aussie way of living. I mean, if they want to brand me a criminal b/c I was dneied entry to the UK, then I'm really just like the first inhabitants Down Under right? Hmph - not good enough for Briitain, fine send me Down Under where I belong!

Anyways, yes the stress is getting to me. It is eating away at me in ways I didn't anticipate. Mostly this is because I now lack a vehicle and am stuck in Long Creek each and every day. It's just me, the computer and Smudgie. And Smudgie is usually sleeping or meowing like a baby or outside hunting things. So really, it's just me and the computer.

I heart MSN Messenger b/c it is my only contact with people now, but it's also causing slight paranoia which I will not go into at this point in time. And then there's the ol' standoff between me and Hotmail. Late at night and first thing in the morning - this is when my stomach turns b/c I know that it's 13 hrs ahead in Australia, thus my judgement will come in the wee hours or be waiting for me first thing in the morning.

Knowing this makes it all the more difficult to get out of bed. I want an answer so badly, but at the same time I dread opening that email when it comes because if it is not the answer I want, I wil have to resort to Plan C, which does not involve leaving Canada in the near future. In fact, it involves doing exactly what I've been trying to avoid doing for the last few months.

Also, if the answer is no, then I will find it difficult to justify this Life of Riley experience I've been enjoying since February. Ugh, I don't really want tothink about it. I need a distraction in a bad way. Hmmm..maybe I need a boy to take my mind off ridiculous things like my future.

On a totally unrelated note, I continue to correspond through my beloved Messenger with my name twin, Shannon Courtney, who lives down under. It seems that within every conversation we find more similarities, which concerning. I wonder if we're not part of some experiment and somehow we balance each other out b/c we live in different hemispheres. Maybe I will screw up the galaxy if I move to the same hemisphere as the other Shannon Courtney.

See what i mean??? Too much time to think!!!!!!!!! I need to get out of here fast!

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