So tonight, after very little thought, I dumped Allan. I know many of you probably weren't even aware I had a boyfriend. Fair enough, I haven't blogged in awhile and it was, in any case, a very short-lived, destructive relationship. I really didn't tell anyone about ti while it was going on, because I was ashamed of myself for getting into a relationship with him in the first place. I guess I saw this coming, I should never have gotten involved with him, but damn he was such a sweet package that he was impossible to resist.
Seriously, I never really thought of myself as a gal that goes for 'tall, dark and handsome', but I fell hard for him. I didn't even TRY to pretend I wasn't interested. I just dove right into the relationship without a second thought. I told myself I could handle any temptations he threw my way, but I was just a fool in love. I became addicted to him, I'm not going to lie about that. I loved nibbling on his ears and caressing his derrier in excited anticipation. And while it's true I always initiated things, he was always there just waiting for me to pop by for a visit. Never once did he turn me away. Ah, but who am I kidding? I was using him to satisfy my own selfish desires and it wasn't fair to him or me. I've worked too hard at resisting temptations to let some American boyfriend screw with my head or my hips.
And then tonight, I finally realised I'm too good for him, I've outgrown my taste for mediocre. He wasn't really that tasty of a morsel, he was more about quantity and less about quality. I decided that if I'm going to have a boyfriend that encourages sinful behaviour, he'd better be of the right pedigree. And we all know that American Allans have nothing on their Swiss, German or even British counterparts.
Yes, I daresay, if I ever pick up another chocolate bunny boyfriend, I'm going to shell out the big bucks for the creamiest version available on the shelf. Lindt anyone?
'Two roads diverged in a wood, and I -- I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.' Robert Frost
Monday, March 10, 2008
Saturday, February 09, 2008
Things are Happening..
Sooo..yeah, it's been awhile. I'd say I'm embarassed I haven't blogged in ages, but I'm not. I've been writing more in the past month then in the past year. It's merely that what I've been writing is not for public consumption. You see, I started this book called The Artist's Way - a definitive 12-week course-based book on recovering your creative self. Really, it's a book about discovering yourself, about being kind to yourself and letting creativity flow through you. In any case, I am now writing half hour every morning and also every night, along with numerous other 'tasks', which are really not painful tasks at all. I don't know that I can articulate what has transpired through doing this course, I just know that things are happening, changes are taking place internally and externally as a result of this book and my rather newly found dedication to setting goals. Yes, I daresay these two indulgences in leading life as I want to lead it have been extremely effective and rather therapeutic. I could write more on this, but I'm not going to.
Other news to relay: My 'secret' stopped working around the same time I wrote my last blog post. I am now back to Lifewise Stage 1 regimen - no red meat, eggs, cheese, sweets, etc. I'm going with the 80/20 on this though, because I've found being kind to myself is just as important as seeing the numbers go down. I am applying to grad schools, looking into teaching English in Korea and trying not to be too frustrated about the politics that played into a recent decision regarding a scholarship application that I worked many many hours on. January was a somewhat difficult month - nothing I want to communicate on this blog, but it was certainly full of emotive events. February, thusfar, has been v. interesting, as I'm working on many transformations and, in tandem with this, find myself in a new position at the School of Business. REally excited about the chance to do some more challenging and autonomous work!
OK, well I have't done my prescribed writing for the day, so I must get on that! I'll try to write something interesting next time I blog...
Other news to relay: My 'secret' stopped working around the same time I wrote my last blog post. I am now back to Lifewise Stage 1 regimen - no red meat, eggs, cheese, sweets, etc. I'm going with the 80/20 on this though, because I've found being kind to myself is just as important as seeing the numbers go down. I am applying to grad schools, looking into teaching English in Korea and trying not to be too frustrated about the politics that played into a recent decision regarding a scholarship application that I worked many many hours on. January was a somewhat difficult month - nothing I want to communicate on this blog, but it was certainly full of emotive events. February, thusfar, has been v. interesting, as I'm working on many transformations and, in tandem with this, find myself in a new position at the School of Business. REally excited about the chance to do some more challenging and autonomous work!
OK, well I have't done my prescribed writing for the day, so I must get on that! I'll try to write something interesting next time I blog...
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
The Secret
It's the new year. I can't believe it. I never can, that's the absurd part. You'd think after 27 years it'd come as no big surprise that every 365 days we say another rotation of the earth around the sun has taken place. I'm going to skip the whole year in review - my Christmas leter will suffice and I might very well find myself on Facebook doing one of those ridiculous, but addictive notes re: 2007. Stay tuned for all the excitingness. Seriously, has anyone noticed that Facebook has basically turned each and every one of us into the star of our very own reality TV show. You can judge whether you'd be on Fox, ABC or TLC based on the number of audience members you have...erm, I mean friends. Right. I might just have to put my show on hiatus.
In any case, in lieu of rambling on about what 2007 brought me, I thought I'd talk about a secret. No, no not THE Secret that everyone rolls their eyes at or clutches their heart when they hear it referenced. THAT Secret is one we all find in our own way and our own time. No, mine is a secret about weight.
You see, since I returned from Australia in June I've lost a rather significant amount of weight. I like to say I was fat when I came home, but most people say I was chubby at most. Whatever. I was the heaviest I have ever been and it was bearing down on my self-esteem with dire consequences. OK, I exagerrate with regards to the 'dire' adjective, but trust me, it was distressing me to no end.
So it seems that nowI have lost enough weight that people are regularly noticing it and commenting. IT's to the point now where I have people asking me what my secret is. Ha. Normally I tel them the HALF truth, which is that I workout 8 times a week and follow a healthy eating plan developed by my nutritionist. But if I were to tell them the WHOLE truth it'd be more like: Go on a year long trip to another Westernized country, enjoy the food, drink lots of booze and have fun. Trust me, you're bound to gain weight. Then just come home, et back into your normal routine, eat well, exercise and..ta da! You'll be shrinking in no time.
Ah, but here's the rub - the real secret I've been keeping (except from people who regularly watch me eat)...I eat chocolate and/or candy on a daily basis. Seriously. I started eating it about a month after getting back home, promising myself that I'd stop the minute the scales started recognizing my weakness. They still haven't. That being said, I don't eat carbs with lunch or dinner and I have a lot more muscle mass than I ever did before. Maybe these things make a difference. Whatever, I don't care. I am just happy that I can eat a little chocolate every day and still lose weight :)
There, that's my really deep and very engaging post for the day. Truth be told, I am in the midst of a transition right now, one that I've imposed upon myself and which I know will result in big changes over the next year. Exciting stuff, but I can't write about it now.
In any case, in lieu of rambling on about what 2007 brought me, I thought I'd talk about a secret. No, no not THE Secret that everyone rolls their eyes at or clutches their heart when they hear it referenced. THAT Secret is one we all find in our own way and our own time. No, mine is a secret about weight.
You see, since I returned from Australia in June I've lost a rather significant amount of weight. I like to say I was fat when I came home, but most people say I was chubby at most. Whatever. I was the heaviest I have ever been and it was bearing down on my self-esteem with dire consequences. OK, I exagerrate with regards to the 'dire' adjective, but trust me, it was distressing me to no end.
So it seems that nowI have lost enough weight that people are regularly noticing it and commenting. IT's to the point now where I have people asking me what my secret is. Ha. Normally I tel them the HALF truth, which is that I workout 8 times a week and follow a healthy eating plan developed by my nutritionist. But if I were to tell them the WHOLE truth it'd be more like: Go on a year long trip to another Westernized country, enjoy the food, drink lots of booze and have fun. Trust me, you're bound to gain weight. Then just come home, et back into your normal routine, eat well, exercise and..ta da! You'll be shrinking in no time.
Ah, but here's the rub - the real secret I've been keeping (except from people who regularly watch me eat)...I eat chocolate and/or candy on a daily basis. Seriously. I started eating it about a month after getting back home, promising myself that I'd stop the minute the scales started recognizing my weakness. They still haven't. That being said, I don't eat carbs with lunch or dinner and I have a lot more muscle mass than I ever did before. Maybe these things make a difference. Whatever, I don't care. I am just happy that I can eat a little chocolate every day and still lose weight :)
There, that's my really deep and very engaging post for the day. Truth be told, I am in the midst of a transition right now, one that I've imposed upon myself and which I know will result in big changes over the next year. Exciting stuff, but I can't write about it now.
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