It's 11.43 a.m EST and I am sitting in Rae's apartment (i.e. The Sauna). Holy shyte it's hot in here. A good thing she doesn't pay for heat. Anyway, Rae is off getting something done to her jaw by a chiropractor. Now, last time I checked chiropractor were 'back' specialists, but whatever. I am not going to question Rae's many methods of mending her jaw. She's got a load of pills to take every morning (just calcium and the sort, nothing hard...) , so many so that she has one of those little pill boxes for the week. It would suck to have TNJ. Or maybe it would crack. She's wearing a retainer type thing now too, which means she's got a bit of a lisp.

Anyways, I just had the most glorious in-bed experience one could possibly have aside f rom... wel you know... I slept for ten hours straight. And oh how I needed it! What a wearing week I've had, meeting so many people, running all around downtown Ottawa, from one big skyscraper to the enxt, discovering along the way that the government spares no expense in outfitting and furnishing its offices well.

Some highlights from the past week:

• Visiting Sugar Mountain. I left $8 poorer, with 300 grams of the good stuff in all the best forms (ie cola bottles, bubblegum, gummies, etc.)
• Meeting two very influential men from PEI, who were up here to speak at a conference on economic transformation in Atlantic Canada. It's amazing what they have accomplished in their respective areas of expertise.
• Working with the two women in our Ottawa office - they are both so wonderful and down-to-earth and on the ball.
• Meeting A LOT of nice looking men, passing a load of nice looking men on the street, being reassured that there is still a pool of young, single men out there. OK, so the pool isn't in my backyard, it's a bit of trek to go for a swim, but, hey I'm up for the hike!
• Going to Hillowe'en on Wednesday - a Hallowe'en party on the hill (West block) for Hill staff and their families. All sorts of kids dressed up in costume and adults standing around pretneding they aren't ecstatic that they've been given a HUGE bag full of yummy candy. No crap bags of chips or boxes of raisins -just chocolate bars and gummies and rockets and the such. And yes, I was lucky enough to get my hands on one..or unlucky enough. Oh dear me. Suffice to say I haven't been a 'good' girl this week. They were also serving free beer and wine, as well as mini quiches, bruschetta, deli meats, etc. So I had sugar and fat for dinner. Just as we were leaving a load of MPs showed up for their treat bag. Funny how easy it is to please some people.
• Thai dinner with the original group of gals I hung around with when I first lived in Ottawa: Becky, Rae and Renee. Dinner was very good, company was great.
• Friday the Hill staff are allowed to go to the Parliament Dining Room for lunch. Mary, Laura, Mary's husband and I decided to take the opportunity to enjoy first-class dining at decent prices. The dining room was huge and the ceilings at least three stories tall, with many domes. As the meal carreid on I thought I was going crazy. I'd be listening to Mary tell a story, but I could hardly hear her..all I heard was a strange male voice speaking very loudly. It was as if some other diner had decided to wear a microphone to lunch. But when I asked the rest of the table whether they could hear this loud voice, they all said 'no'. I honestly thought I was going mad. But then it awas deduced that the domed ceiling must be amplifying the voices in certain areas. So I ate my Atlatic salmon and enjoyed a dessert buffet and tried to forget about the voices in my head.
• Well, this isn't really a highlight, more like a lowlight. Yesterday afternoon as I was walking back to my hotel I ran into my old boss from DOJ. It's been over three years since I worked there but I still harbour ill-feelings towards that man. He was absolutely horrible to all his female staff. Mostly with me he was a bully and made inappropriate comments about my weight and personal life. With another one of the younger staff he definitely crossed the line and should haev been taken to HR. Sigh. I really really really wanted to give him a piece of mind and tell him how much misery he had cuased me and my co-workers. He doesn't deserve to be in a management position. BUt, of course, I didn't say anything nasty. I just told him all I'd been up to and when he asked why I'd not kept in touch I just shrugged my shoulders and said I'd been busy. In a moment of inappropriateness he asked if I was married. Phhpppt. Fat chance.

Anywho, that's the work week summed up. Today is gorgeous and we are going to go to the Aviation museum and check out Rae's new house, have a bite at Oh SO Good then get some props for our Hallowe-en costumes. Tonight I will be drunk and in disguise - a dangerous mix! I think I may dress up like a present with a gift tag that says: From God, To Men. That would be a laugh, but possibly too egotistical (excpet forhte fact hta I know I am not) But I have nuttin else. No other ideas....

My work week in Ottawa is over and it's been a memorable one. No time to recollect all the happenings of the past five days, but just wanted say: Don't forget to fall back this weekend and make it a scary one :)

Will post re: Ottawa times asap!!

Well, I made it here in one piece. Not so sure I'll make it through a week of meet and greet completely unscathed, but one must always cross one's fingers and hope for the best!

So, yeah - my new shiny black boots look great, but they're not the best apparel for traipsing around O'town. And I can't believe I forgot to bring an umbrella - I learned nothing in Scotland!

The week so far can be summed up as such: hectic. Anotherwards, I'm not in Kansas anymore...or Charlottetown for that matter. It's a whole different ball game up here...I guess it's kind of like the difference between the minors and the majors. A lot of talent, everyone knows their job and teamwork is essential. Also, there's a lot of running from base to base, because I am here to meet people - put faces to names.

I've only been here for two work days and already I've met a number of influential people including one of the Ministers, the best person to happen to UPEI ever, and the most successful businessman to hail from the Island. I've also met some fabulous Hill staffers and basically walked a lot. And I mean A LOT!!

Condelleza Rice was in town last night. The PM had her over for dinner at 24 Sussex Drive, meanwhile I invited Rae to join me for supper and we dined at the Blue Cactus. I guarnatee my compnay for dinner was more enjoyable.

Of course I also had to make a quick visit to Sugar Mountain where I loaded up on hard-to-find candy and ended up spending a mint. Sigh - the Bulk Barn is where it's at. And no, I haven't given up my weight loss plans - I still have lots of the candy I bought left and I have been to the gym twice already.

Anyways, it is sooo strange being back here in Ottawa. I didn't think about it before I came up, but whoa.. a lot of memories came flooding back as I walked down Sparks Street, popped into the Rideau Centre and then headed over to the happening part of town - the Byward Market. I was reminded of how much I enjoy Ottawa - it's a wonderful place to live (although I wouldn't recommend it as the first stop for tourists to Canada) and maybe, just maybe, I'll have to come back for a longer stay at some point in the future...

Ke sera sera
Whatever will be will be
The future's not ours to see
Ke sera sera

Well, I made it here in one piece. Not so sure I'll make it through a week of meet and greet completely unscathed, but one must always cross one's fingers and hope for the best!

So, yeah - my new shiny black boots look great, but they're not the best apparel for traipsing around O'town. And I can't believe I forgot to bring an umbrella - I learned nothing in Scotland!

The week so far can be summed up as such: hectic. Anotherwards, I'm not in Kansas anymore...or Charlottetown for that matter. It's a whole different ball game up here...I guess it's kind of like the difference between the minors and the majors. A lot of talent, everyone knows their job and teamwork is essential. Also, there's a lot of running from base to base, because I am here to meet people - put faces to names.

I've only been here for two work days and already I've met a number of influential people including one of the Ministers, the best person to happen to UPEI ever, and the most successful businessman to hail from the Island. I've also met some fabulous Hill staffers and basically walked a lot. And I mean A LOT!!

Condelleza Rice was in town last night. The PM had her over for dinner at 24 Sussex Drive, meanwhile I invited Rae to join me for supper and we dined at the Blue Cactus. I guarnatee my compnay for dinner was more enjoyable.

Of course I also had to make a quick visit to Sugar Mountain where I loaded up on hard-to-find candy and ended up spending a mint. Sigh - the Bulk Barn is where it's at. And no, I haven't given up my weight loss plans - I still have lots of the candy I bought left and I have been to the gym twice already.

Anyways, it is sooo strange being back here in Ottawa. I didn't think about it before I came up, but whoa.. a lot of memories came flooding back as I walked down Sparks Street, popped into the Rideau Centre and then headed over to the happening part of town - the Byward Market. I was reminded of how much I enjoy Ottawa - it's a wonderful place to live (although I wouldn't recommend it as the first stop for tourists to Canada) and maybe, just maybe, I'll have to come back for a longer stay at some point in the future...

Ke sera sera
Whatever will be will be
The future's not ours to see
Ke sera sera

And so it is . . . I am going to Ottawa. It's funny because I told Raeanne back at the first of September that I would come visit her in Ottawa sometime during the fall (this was while I was still in Edinburgh and facing unemployment upon return to the Island). And now I am going for 'business'. My first business related travel!

So I'm staying at the Delta Ottawa , which is fine with me. They have a gym but, and this boggles my mind, they only have complimentary high speed internet access in the business suites! It's carzy how much Internet access costs in some places In Edinburgh I could only find two places that had free wireless internet access, in Charlottetown I am aware of at least six places. There's something to be said for the small town I guess - it's cheaper!

Last night I went on a shopping spree - one of those sprees where you just run through the store picking out clothes that might look good until yhou have a pile in your arms that is so high you can't see in front of you. That's what I did. I went to one store, picked out fourteen items and proceeded to spend $367 without trying a single thing on. That's just how I like to do my clothes shopping. Suffice to say, the only stores that get my business are ones with a return policy that includes refunds. Today I am bringing back about half the clothes I bought last night, but I am keeping the rest so I think I faired quite well.

I've been trying to avoid buying clothes as I am losing weight and don't plan to stop this trend any time soon. Ah, but work calls and one must look presentable when the workplace is Parliament Hill.

So off I go for some more shopping. It's a good thing I got that loan for my Echo, since I haven't actually been paid yet...

Mental note - make next post funny or at least attempt this feat! Too early in the morning for such craziness!

There are so many things I just don't get -especially about human nature, about people's motivations and reasoning for actions or non-actions. Here are a few of those things which confuse me most:

• Why do people not communicate when there is something bothering them? Why? I mean we all know, logically, that the only way to resolve something is to have a discussion about it. People are not mind-readers, they can't intuitively guess what someone else is thinking or feeling. And what's up with giving up? What's up with saying 'well, there's no sense in talking about it things won't change'? Gez, that's a self-fulfilling prophecy if I ever heard one!! Of course things can't change if you don't talk about them so you'll prove yourself right but what's the point in that? If you care about someone, you should give them the benefit of the doubt, give them a chance to hear your concerns and voice their own. Then see if there isn't some solution for the problem at hand. Because otherwise, you're just going to be miserable, the other person is going to be oblivious and things will only get worse. If you truly care about someone, realise that they care a lot about you too.

• What's up with cutting someone out of your life, without an obvious reason such as an argument, etc.? This has happened to me now on four occassions, three times it was with friends that I considered to be very important in my life. ANd then just like that, in the snap of a finger, and with no explanation , communication became one-way. Eventually I gave up on each of them, but not before I invested a lot of time trying to salvage things. And to this day I still don't understand why two of these friends chose to discontinue our friendship. I can only conclude that it was not a particularly personal decision, because i was not the only one ousted. But, just for the record - it hurts a hell of a lot when someone cuts you out without a reasonable explanation, with no warning..... I wish I did not dwell on such thoughts, but I do. I covet human relationships, so when they go awry it upsets me to no end. Most of the time I blame myself, most of the time I shouldn't be so hard on myself.

OK, well, that's all I've got for the mo - I am obviously thinking too much for my own good. That's what ya get for listening to Norah Jones and reminiscing. Love & peace to you all.

"There are two doors; one marked security and one marked freedom. The second you walk through the door marked security, you give up both."

Because really, how secure is a 'job'? You have one employer, you have one source of income, you put your time in, play politics and try not to step on anyone's toes by expressing an original thought. And if, by some misfortune, you become redundant or your employer decides you are no longer necessary, well where does that leave you? Actually, best not to dwell on these questions for too long as illusions are delicate littel things that are easily broken by those who go looking for evidence of smokescreens and faulty logic.

I can't help but be overwhelmed with thoughts these days, it's like a reawakening of my mind after and extended absence of optional thinking. Not that I would take back my time in Scotland for anything, it was in it's own right a fabulous experience, but an integral part of my being kind of went into hibernation while I was there and now this part of me has reawoken with a burning hunger to learn more, to see the world in ways that are fuzzy & unclear but altogether more conducive to a life of happiness and freedom.

In some ways I consider myself lucky to be the idealist I am. I am not driven by money, I am not driven by security, I tend to resist the norm if the norm doesn't make sense and I spend a lot of my time questioning what other people seem to take for granted. Now, admittedly this gets me in hot water sometimes, especially when I vocalize my rather different thoughts. And that kind of sucks because just as much as I am an idealist, I also need affrimation from others and harmony. I don't like being at odds with anyone, but I will speak up for myself and for others who have chosen silence.

Anyways, so the above quote is the reason I am still wandering around, trying to figure things out and being careful not ot commit. Yes, I do have a job now but that is a contract position and one I can walk away from after seven months with more skills, less debt and the chance to take a leap of faith in myself and my abilities. It will be an interesting time! In the interim I do apologise for more philisophical tones to my posts.

Here's the none philisophical portion of my blog post:

1. INXS has a new hit song out that I think is awesome. It's call Dirty Vegas I think or something Vegas. Check it out!

2. I still haven't eaten any of my chocolate from Europe- something is seriously wrong with me!

3. I am going to Ottawa next Monday and will be there until the following Sunday. So much time to enjoy the nation's capital and all its best sites like Oh So Good Desserts and Sugar Mountain and the Heart & Crown.

4. I have to go, my bedtime is in half an hour. I am getting old - going to bed at ten and listening to CBC radio in the morning (in my defense is only for my job)

'...we have not even to risk the adventure alone; for the heroes of all time have gone before us; the labyrinth is thoroughly known; we have only to follow the thread of the hero path. And where we had thought to find an abomination, we shall find a god; where we had thought to slay another, we shall slay ourselves; where we had thought to travel outward, we shall come to the centre of our existence; where we had thought to be alone, we shall be with all the world.' Joseph Campbell

I love quote, they provide inspiration & insight that stretches across the ages and cultures. Thank you to Rob for passing these words of wisdom on.

So what is it all about? It's about change - it's about entering that most fearsome thing called the unknown. It's about finding your freedom and altering your future. Change is such a constant thing now. yet we continue to resist it, both as individuals and as societies, with such ferocity. What are we afraid of? Why is change so hard for us?

Well, having just entered the work world again- I can atest to the uneasiness one feels when out of their element. It's unnerving and somewhat stressful. The only thing that keeps me going is the knowledge that soon enough these feelings will subside as the unknow becomes the familiar and I adapt to the new environment that exists.

But I digress and apologise for the seriousness of this post - I've been roped into thinking a lot more as of late - the great side effect of being within Rob Paterson's world of thought again! And now I am taking the intiative myself and reading as much as I can about things that will give me insight and a greater understanding of myself and the world around me.

Ok - end of this topic, I spent a good chunk of time today posting on Earth to Shannon. If you want more of the philosophy I recommend heading over there :)

So, yeah it's been a hectic week. My first week of work. Phew. I am exhausted. OK, so I don't want to say too mcuh about work - I don't think a blog is the place to discuss such matters, but just aquick run-down. I am working the area of Communications & Marketing for a local politician. This week I attended a local community forum he was hosting in the evening, and went to New London to be a part of the announcement regarding a number of investmetns in infrastructure that will see communities across PEI benefit. Amongst these: Summerside has been approved for a wind farm which will provide 40% of its energy!

Anyways, I've spent most of my time at work just trying to get my head around the issues, adjusting to a new workplace climate and trying to see where/how I can be of value. It turns out I want to work with the communcations technology. Go figure - I am a proponent of the blog!

Aside from work, this week I have done the following: enjoyed the company of my relatives from Alberta, gone to the gym numerous times, thought about doing some creative writing but procrastinated & bought a few new clothes for work. Oh, I also bought the first Christmas present of the season and talked to Rae on the phone. All very exciting. To top it off I made bread in the breadmaker today. Try not to be too jealous of my exciting life outside work :)

Well, that's about it. I decided a need to find a friend (well, more than one but th's a different kettle of fish), who likes going to thte movies as much as I. I mean we don't even have to have much in common - it could jsut be a relationship of viewing convenience. Because while I am not opposed to going to the theatre alone in a big city like Edinburgh or Ottawa, I am entirely opposed to it on PEI, where I am bound to run into people I know who would feel sorry for me being solo. Hmm, come to think of it - if friend of movie convenience was a good-looking male that would be looked upon favorably too... OK, so that's wishful thinking I know, but hey I bought a lottery ticket today which is a rarity too! You never know, that's all I'm saying....

Long Weekend Review

In short it was all turkey, turkey and more turkey. Oh and some Chinese and maybe crashing a wedding too.

Friday was loooonnnngggg. After a couple of early hours on the Internet, we were on our way to Summerside (via North Granville and the old homestead). Lunch with Nanny & Daddy was on the agenda. As fmaily ouotings on the Courtney side go it was pretty noneventful actually. We went to Brothers Two and I discovered that all sweet potato fries are not equal and, in fact, some are downright not yummy (yet still somehow addictive!). Anyways, after a drive through Summerside (oh the joy) and a wee visit at my Dad's, we headed back to Long Creek.

Homemade pizza was on the menu. Adam joined us..it's nice to have at least one friend that is within driving distance (rather than flying distance!). Afer a quick editing job on his paper, we headed to the new Roadhouse in Cornwall. No, seriously, that's what it's called. It is the old Bonnie Brae, but apparently it was meant to be renovated and a really happening spot. Not so. Adam and I were in a demographic of our own. The rest of the patrons were 40 plus or underage and hoping the servers at the Roadhouse wouldn't care. The menu was not inspiring. I didn't eat anything, but wondered what Roadhouse Gourge would consist of.

Saturday was Myrtle's step class in the morning. Saturday afternoon was dedicated to helping out with the webcourse and making a blueberry pie for Sunday's feast. When Mom suggested the unthinkable -dinner at the Chinese Restaurant in Cornwall, I was surprisingly unenthusiastic. I mean really I should have jumped at the offer of a free meal at this restaurant which she and Jim had conveniently been frequenting on every occassion that I was out of the house. I had never stepped foot inside and was more than curious. ANywho, although surprisingly not ecstatic I was still easily convinced that this was the way forward minus the agony of making another homemade meal. It turned out to be alright, but I suspect I was spoiled by better Chinese food in Edinburgh- yes that's right, Saigon Saigon is better :) Actually, I'm a lover of Thai cuisine...

Saturday night I went out on the town in my new Echo! Rana had invited me to her boyfriend's place - a bunch of people were going out to celebrate her birthday. And, lo & behold, Becky Coffin of Ottawa was home for the weekend!! Anyways, I had a great time and enoyed meeting some fab new people. After a while at Daniel's Becky & her sister headed down to the Confed Centre for a wedding dance. In a moment of stupidity I decided to join them.

It was only then that I discovered exactly where all the goodlooking, young men on PEI can be found. Yes, the answer is most definitely at wedding dances! It doesn't hurt that their dressed in tuxes! What does hurt is that all the girls are also dressed up..unless you happen to be part of an unplanned wedding crash and are dressed (for once) in jeans and clunky boots. Sigh. We left before I could snag myself anything besides a free sandwich.

Next we headed over to St James Gate to meet up with Rana & her crew. by this time it wsa getting on one o'clock and Becky was plastered. We arrived only to find a line of people waiting in the rain -waiting to pay $5 to get inside St James Gate for the remaining hour! Oh dear me. Anyways, Becky decided she didn't want to wait so somehow she managed to sneak us into the line about a quarter of the way back and within ten minutes we were in. How did she do that??? I felt bad, but I wasn't in a position to argue, being cold & wet and too sober for my own good. The rest of the night was spent amongst throngs of old people and even older people bopping to songs such as The Night That Paddy Murphy Died and Sweet Home Alabama.

Sunday was the big Tom Turkey day. I tried to play it low key during the day by going to the gym & cleaning my room. OH but the feast was still to wipe me of all my remaining energy. Tehre is no point listing all the items on the menu. It will only depress me. It was magical, it wasmy first taste of pure sweetness in a month and I*may* have overindulged.

Monday meant more overindulgence and more gym time. Then a bit of stressing about the first day of work and then some more overindulgence and then a bit of relaxation.

Tuesday. Hmm, well that was today. It went alright. I have A LOT to learn, I have a lot to do. Uncle Dave, Betty, Sarah & her German friend, Sabina are visitng now. I think I must go join the laughter.

This is my last day of freedom. I've become quite accustomed to the flexibily that comes with not having a job - I can get up when I please, go to the gym when I wish and do my errands any time of the day or night. I can eat when I am hungry, and not when the clock tells me to. This will all change come Tuesday, when I'll start the ole 9-5 Monday to Friday regime again. And this routine may, at the end of the day, cost me more than it pays me.

OK, I am jumping ahaed of myself. As the result of assisting with the delivery of the Natural Step webcourse and reading a futurist's (Frank Gould -The Last Book You'll Ever Read) take on the 21st century, I am thoroughly discouraged to be entering the System again. The system traps us - it takes away our freedom, it eats up our time and it often results in a loss of energy and joy. Now don't get me wrong, I am looking forward to working in a position that will challenge me mentally and am grateful for the opportunity to be in a position where I am likely to interact with some inspirational people. What I am not looking forward to is the car payments, fuel costs, half hour commute to and from work, rigid work schedule, etc. I suspect that the job I am going to be doing from an office in Charlottetown could, for the most part, be done from home. How often do us office workers actually have a need to interact physically (mind out of gutter!). When you are emailing coworkers that sit 15 feet away - that's when you konw something is wrong with the System.

You see, every time I log on to the webcourse I am helping with, I never consider it work. I enjoy the interaction with my peers, I love being engaged in a two way communication forum that is give and take, and I love being able to accomplish all this from the comfort of my own home. This weekend past a friend of mine asked me to review auniversity paper for him - basically he was looking for an editor. I love helping peple out with this type of stuff and since I didn't have to go anywhere to do it I was mmore than happy to help. My sister has also asked me to help her revise her resume. I am starting to think there is something to the idea of being a freelancer. Not that I am charging anyone yet, I don't think I have the credentials to do that! But it's nice to know that I have some skills that other people value - it makes me feel worthwhile. And, hey I really do love helping people with anything that involves writing -especially family & friends! SO, yeah that's an invitation - take it on board if you wish!

I did it- I made the ultimate commitment.. I bought a car. And a pre-owned one at that!

It had to be done, the alternatives were not enticing. Alternative 1 - Move into Charlottetown, find a decnet apratment and decnet roommate(s) and be without wheels or Alternative 2 - Walk to work from Long Creek. It would be the end of the day before i even sat down at my desk.

So the stats: Its a super sporty, sleek silver ditty, better known as a Toyota Echo. He's 5 years old and still has a wee bit of spunk left in him. His name is Rin Tin Tin (or RT2), as I'vebeen informed that driving the Echo is a bit like driving a tin can. RT2 has four doors and comes equipped with, well, pretty much the bare essentials.Not to worry I will soon be spoiling my ne wbaby with winter tires and a decent CD/stereo system. Of course, CIBC is going to have to help me on this front, but I trust they will have no problemo forking over dough, what with my spotless financial record!


Anyway, I discovered that when buying a used vehicle you have to assess the owner/driver as much as you do the vehicle itself. I first went to look at a a little number called SIR - as in a 1999 Honda Civic SIR . This car had it all: VTech engine, rear loaded stereo system, sunroof, power everything and leather steering wheel. SIR also had noise issues - as in he made a lot of it and his Engine light was on and the trunk was a bit out of alignment. The owner- a guy about my age who seemed to be a bit less than upfront about the car's history. Basically I figure he drove that beaut of a car hard and fast and was now trying to load it off to someone else. I wans't biting, although i may have been drooling slightly at all the standard features on this little black number. Sigh.

So then I went to look at Rin Tin Tin and the owner was this wonderful, friendly woman who had put a bumper sticker on the back to the Echo that read 'Peace through Equality. Eliminate Racism and Sexism." And she had volunteered with the UN in Botswana for 3 years and now worked with Community Legal Aid. She & her husband were downgrading toone vehilce. I just got these great vibes from her and then the car ran smoothly and she gave me a breakdown of its history with no vagueness. So I am pretty sure I made a wise choice in buying from her.

Aside from that my only other big news is that my sister is visiting. Yesterday she spent a lot of time reading from my books '101 Things to Do Before You Die' and "Practical Jokes for Adults." Did I mention she was reading out loud? Lalala.... Anyways, it should be an enjoyable and busy week what with the numerous errands I have to run and the quality time I have to spend with my Sis and the rest of my family before I start a real job.

So - um yeah. I guess that's about it from the farm. No really it smells like a pig farm here in Long Creek. The field just behind us is owned by a farmer who has taken to spraying pig shite all over it during the past few days. WE can no longer enjoy the back deck or sunshine without inhaling what could be the most disgusting smell ever...