For each additional day I remain on PEI, without reprieve from this cocoon-like existence I become more aware of the fact that I should have been a geriontologist. With all the 'mature' people inhabiting this Island, I'd be guaranteed a freakin job. They're everywhere, they've infiltrated every single institution, social arena, shopping centre and, worst of all, the Island's highways (or is that singular) and backroads. Even places that could once guarantee a young person escape from wrinkles and grey hair are now becoming the 'older person's domain.
Trivia. Now there's a good example. Who'd expect older people..the kind with respectable jobs and kids and maybe a mortgage, to be out on Friday night answering questions re: movie tag lines and the % of American women who would have breast augementation if their boyfriends paid for it (30% BTW)? Not me, that's for sure. But they're there..they come in droves and they leave with all the bar tab prizes..leaving the younger teams to vie for third place..the coveted Greco Party Pizza. Even more disturbing than the fact that the overwhelming majority of persons at trivia are over 40..is the fact that they are in denial about their age and, in some cases, their gender. For instance..the Hot Chicks team..well, in my humble opinion..they're not quite sizzling, and one of them is a gent. Bruce to be exact . He's been off the cigarettes for a year and recently lost 8 pounds. So we all give him a round of applause and I start wondering whether I might have walked in on a BBA meeting - Baby Boomer's Anonymous
Then there's the gym..with all its space age machines and hydraulics..its enough to make even a youtful perons like myself a bit apprehensive about stepping foot on the floor. Well..there they are again..all the maturely aged people in their spandex and headbands. Some are walking a snail's pace, but most are running a good pace or cycling up a storm..without breaking a sweat. Now don't get me wrong..it's great to see them taking their health seriously and being active..but, well, what is it gonna be next - the Elderly Olympics?
And the topper? The blatant, over-the-top, atrociously obvious amount of flirting that goes on. You see it everywhere - the man in the white T-shirt and green sweats, leaning up against the elliptical, trying to chat up the lovely little lady..or the semi-inebriated, moustached man cozying up to one of the Hot Chicks and distracting her from the trivia game in progress.
Well, I guess I'm not the only one that has noticed the prevalence of this courting behaviour, because now we've got Social Adventures. Yep, that's right PEI's got speed-dating. Speed dating..what is that you ask? Well, can't say I've ever participated in it myself..not officially anyway..but goes something like this..you get a room full of guys and a room full of girls together. The girls sit at tables and the guys do some sort of fancy rotation-like thing..spending 10 minutes with each girl (I'm not sure..do they blow a whistle when its time to move on to the next victim..er..girl I mean?) At the end of the evening, the gals write down the names of the guys that piqued their interest and vice versa..then each perosn finds out who was interested in them. Right, so I first came to learn of this new dating phenomenon while in the hip&happening city of Dublin. From what I gathered, speed dating was for 20-somethings,maybe 30'somethings and often took place at a pub.
But not here on PEI. Nope, speed-dating here on PEI is reserved for those in their forties, fifities..the Golden Years. Now, perhaps I'm being a bit unfair, but doesn't the name 'spped-dating' seem to conflict with the target age groups? I mean, wouldn't these in-need-of-romance people get tired of the constant rotating, the high-paced conversation? Would they even remember who they'd met by the end of it? I know I'd have trouble recaling faces/names..of course, this wouldnlikey be due to consumption of alcohol...
I don't know, it just all seems a bit out of sync to me..but, the again, it is PEI. The old rule and the young..well, they leave....and come back when they're old, so they can rule the roost. What lovely little circle of life we have on the Island.